physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
