dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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