I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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