he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
