He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
