i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
