He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
