I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize