Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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