I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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