Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I need water and some morals
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
