He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
