I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
