I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
