Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
