I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
