I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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