you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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