is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
