Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
