i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
