aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
