I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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