I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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