omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
