you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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