He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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