dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
