I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My feet surprised me
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