Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
two words...techno handjob
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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