Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My liver just broke up with me...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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