Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I love having hate sex.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
