Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
