So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
