First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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