i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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