This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
