My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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