Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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