What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
