i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
