is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
