I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
