STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
