dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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