Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Never let your siblings swipe right.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
