When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
