Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
