So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
