My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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