Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
